In the Gospels Jesus asks, "how can I help you?" and also, "what do you want?"
Do you know how to answer these questions? Do you actively talk with Jesus about these questions, or are you leading a life, in the words of Thoreau, a life of "quiet desperation"?
Essentially Jesus is asking us, "how is it with your soul? Is it well? If not, what can be done?" We may sing the words of the great hymn, peace is like a river attending our ways in the midst of troubled, stormy seas. We learn to declare those words by faith. Yet, is it possible for you to carry yourself through each day in love, joy, hope and patient trust?
Another way to consider this is, if Jesus' death and resurrection were necessary to save our souls, what is the experience of a 'saved soul' today, right now, in this moment, in this breath? Is the goodness of salvation reserved only for our a soul in heaven, or is there not some abundant life of the soul, of the mind, heart and body for today? Does the presence of Jesus not break into our practiced existence right now into our presence?
Most of us do not have a working understanding of our own souls. We do not have a practical and personal engagement with our soul, and so the soul is misunderstood and shrouded in mystery. Without a working understanding of the soul, how can we practice soul engaging prayer that will transform us into the likeness of Jesus?
Many shrug their shoulders in bewilderment and move on. The soul? Who can know it? They assume the soul, that Jesus' presence through the power of the Holy Spirit in the deepest parts of our being is a mystery never to be understood or practiced. Thus many Christians end up living lives that Thoreau described so well, "lives of quiet desperation," lives of resignation distracted by the "games and amusements of mankind."
If you are returning to the Invitation Podcast, something is stirring in your soul. An ache is becoming more defined inside of you, a holy desire for God. You are answering the invitation, hearing Jesus' words, "what can I do for you? How can I help? What do you want?" The next step is to wait patiently for his help. We wait patiently in trust through prayer.
Another reason why we avoid the soul is because soul-work is slow. Soul-work requires honesty and humility. Soul-work depends on our ability to trust. Ultimately soul-work involves our bodies, our actions. Soul-work invokes our emotions and engages the way our minds work. What we think about...what we hope for...how we wait patiently.
Susanna and I welcomed Merritt Terese Banner into the world on July 14, at 6:40pm in the evening. The waiting for her was a kind of soul-work. Over three years we lost three previous babies, excruciating pain that is difficult to describe. Then there was the nine months with Merritt of course, nine months when time slowed down. Each week we wondered if she would make it, if she would be healthy. The actual birthing was of course incredibly physical, messy with the primal elements of life. Susanna likes to recall that when Merritt emerged, I let out a full, deep, belt of laughter. I also treasure that joy-filled memory. The laughter was a deep response of my soul that resounded out through my body. When it was all done and our hospital room became silent, our bodies were exhausted but our souls refreshed and renewed. And so we couldn't stop touching our baby girl, smelling her, kissing and codling, reveling in the new gift of life.
The gift of soul-work is like the slow, precarious work of birthing. Prayer can be both easy and hard. Time never seems like its on your side. Time moves either too fast or too slow. Prayer can be excruciating. It requires patient trust, hours and years of waiting. Then suddenly new life sneaks up on you in a way that is completely out of your control. The Spirit gives you gifts of faith in his timing and on his terms because he knows what is best for you. Then we return again to prayer faithfully waiting in patient trust for the new life to arrive.
The Invitation Podcast can serve as a 'birthing coach' for you. Each of us need some help, some coaxing into solitude. As a friend said just yesterday, "most of the time I need someone to give me permission to be quiet and rest." I invite you to use this short meditation to give yourself permission to eagerly await the help of the Spirit in 'patient trust.'
"Patient Trust" is a prayer by the Jesuit paleontologist, Teilhard de Chardin. Chardin was part of the the expedition that discovered the "Peking Man," homo erectus, a prehistoric human who Chardin was surprised to discover used primitive tools. This prayer has helped Susanna and me for several years of suffering and big questions. Its a prayer that can excavate and preserve your soul!
Peace and help of Christ to you!
Josh
Conversation #5 Nathan Foster no. 12
When was the last time you were surprised by your life?
There are many reasons for us to despair today. Jesus anticipated this struggle when he spoke about "wars and rumors of war." In the face of catastrophe, he tells us to not be alarmed because all "these things must come to pass." How do we keep our heads above the water? If not the struggle of politics, terrorism, and racism, just looking at your bank account might cause your chest to tighten and keep you up at night. Or your trouble may be with relationships--confusion with family, friends, neighbors, or co-workers.
The couple who offered Susanna and me marital counseling asked us early on a penetrating question: When you consider the future, is it a gift wrapped in a bow full of surprise and goodness? Or is the future a bomb, a tragedy yet to unfold?
If not either of these extremes, perhaps your future seems mediocre like the persistent banality of refrigerator buzz (for Radiohead enthusiasts, fridge buzz is a theme throughout Ok Computer). Perhaps the the future is merely the passing of time and events; its perfunctory, with little to no vitality.
What then do you make of Jesus' words? "I came to give you life, life abundantly." (John 10:10)
Or what about this prayer from the apostle Paul in Ephesians 3:20: Unto him who is able to accomplish more than anything we can ask or imagine?
How seriously, how deep can this hope penetrate into our mind, heart, our soul?
If you sense a desire deep inside your soul for more, for more help, more friendship, love, clarity, hope, depth, rich goodness, then you are hearing the Invitation of Jesus. That is what the Invitation Podcast is for, a time and a space for us to journey together toward the Desire above and beyond all desires.
In this episode no. 12, Nathan Foster and I sit down to talk about various ways to pursue God through spiritual discipline. We talk about ecumenicism, mysticism, and parenting. Nathan is someone who has struggled and yet continues to hope in the abundant life with Jesus, to believe that God can and will continue to transform his life beyond anything he could ask or imagine.
5 Minute Prayer #14 'Lion or the Dove' No. 11
A lion or a dove? How do you meditate?
The awkward truth about prayer is that you can only learn it by practice. This can be a very discouraging realization. This truth can cause many to avoid prayer altogether. We don't like being beginners. We don't want God to be difficult, and we don't know how to be alone and quiet. We assume that if Jesus is really about love, then a relationship with him should be convenient and simple.
I know how to confess the difficulties of prayer because I've been discouraged most of my life in regard to prayer. Even while serving as a ministry leader, I held God at arm's length and struggled to sit still and give myself to his presence and truth through prayer and meditating on the Scriptures.
While we can't learn how to pray from books or from someone else, it is possible to gain some inspiration and even some practical coaching on what to look and wait for as we approach God. This is the gift of spiritual direction and what I hope is the gift of this podcast outreach: that you can find some inspiration and practical help to get started or to try again to know and be known by God.
Prayer is simple. It is accessible and even convenient, but not in the way we think of any other simple, accessible, or convenient thing in our lives. Once you enter in you will understand in your own way what I mean. Talking to God is unlike talking to anyone else. Being in his presence is different than the personal presence of any other being. This is God. No one is like him. When you go to prayer on your own, you will learn your own way. There are various ways! You might pray like a lion or a dove, or in some completely other way.
To understand what I'm getting on about, I invite you to listen to episode no. 11 based on prayer exercise #14 from the prayer guide, "40 Ways to Spend 5 Minutes With God."
Conversation #4 Josh Garrels & John Mark McMillan no. 10
Holy Spirit, spiritual kung-fu?
While recording artist John Mark McMillan still loves the faith of his father's charismatic church, while he believes in prophetic ministry and the power of the Holy Spirit, much of his early spiritual formation has been what he calls, "Christian kung-fu." Recently he has turned to Dallas Willard and Richard Foster to learn the basics of Christian life. He is surprised that exercise--the discipline of caring for his body--has allowed him to find the daily energy to tend to prayer and the demands of music and family.
Josh Garrels also has been learning to take more control of his calendar, to delegate creative work to others, and to practice Sabbath keeping with his family.
In episode no. 10 I sit down with these recording artists to discover their shared interest in the ordinary, basic disciplines of life. This conversation turns out to be a refreshing interaction about popular culture, music making, pursuing God, love for the church, and caring for family. Garrels did not grow up in the church and brings an earnest, wise hunger for God to his music and faith. In this episode he discusses his interest in: “...old[er] traditions that have cared aesthetically for the wholeness of the Gospel both the theology at the heart of it and the culture that surrounds it." He says, "So many of us have grown tired of an exploited culture that has barnacled itself to the Gospel that isn’t very aesthetically pleasing."
This conversation with Garrels and McMillan is at times brutally honest about Christianity, yet it avoids church-bashing cynicism. The three of us love the church and hope for her flourishing.
I invite you to listen to Conversation #4 episode no. 10, a conversation with Josh Garrels & John Mark McMillan!We discuss discuss the charismatic, Evangelical, and Catholic church; aesthetic care of worship and worship spaces; reading the Bible for what it actually says; family disciplines and Sabbath keeping, creating more space for God with exercise, when to set aside our screens and be closer to each other. Of course there is discussion about their creative process in writing music and who they are reading: Dylan Thomas, Wendell Berry, AW Tozer, Eugene Peterson, Richard Rohr, Richard Foster, and Dallas Willard.
5 Minute Prayer #4 'Listing Your Loves' no. 9
The goodness?
The truth?
I'm having a real good time.
Living into my vocation has become a delight. Yes, there are genuine difficulties. Susanna and I lost three babies in the past three years (Jericho 20 weeks, Tiernan and Havilah at almost seven). I really miss being with college students and running a recording studio at Hope College. At times it is a mess managing two little boys, the house, the calendar, making meals.... Yes, I'm at my worst in the 'witching hours' of 3:30-8pm.
However, I'm happier, healthier, and more emotionally and spiritually present than ever. In fact, the Spirit is changing me in ways that are beyond anything I could ask or imagine.
How? Meditation, the Scriptures, contemplative prayer, spiritual direction, serving in the prison, risking with God. These are all things you and I have known for a long time about faith. It's just that I've only begun to take it all seriously in the last five or six years.
Please consider the Invitation Podcast my attempt to share the goodness with you, to invite you to listen to the Spirit's invitation. What could be more fun than to watch the Holy Spirit speak to incarcerated felons and pastors?
A NEW 5-Minute Format!
This will end up being five-ish minutes. As you see, I've put a big No. 4 on this one. The 4 refers to exercise #4 from the prayer guide "Forty Ways to Spend 5 Minutes with God" that I wrote for Harderwyk. The idea is to do guided meditations of each of the 40 prayer exercises. N. 4 is my first attempt at this. As always, I appreciate your positive/critical feedback.
I started with #4 because I hope it might especially help with the front end of Lent: During Lent we are attempting to slow down, do less, eat less, drink less…to empty ourselves…to create internal space for God as we anticipate his resurrection. I pray episode No. can help you live into Jesus' death and resurrection.
I invite you to 'list your loves' here in Episode #9 on prayer exercise No. 4.
The closing song, "Psalm 23:1-2" is used with permission from theversesproject.com and Zach Winters.
An Update & Short Meditation, 'Choosing Less' no. 8
In this episode Josh offers two updates in a reflective meditation, a kind of short retreat. If you are interested in the Feb 7-8 church leader's contemplative retreat, send him an email (josh at harderwyk dot com). Josh also explains his decision to step down from his position at Harderwyk. Huge thanks to the leaders at that church and to all the people as well. Listen to find out more. A new, proper website will be online soon. Stay tuned for more conversations and retreats coming soon!
Conversation #3 Sharon Garlough Brown no. 7
January 7, 2017
In late November I had the good pleasure of sitting down with author of Sensible Shoes, Sharon Garlough Brown. In our conversation Sharon says:
"Whenever we are talking about spiritual disciplines, we have to talk about them as ways of receiving the love of God, and then abiding in the love of God, and then finally responding to the love of God."
I fear that we often get this backwards. We focus on our actions trying to live out the Christian life without substantially receiving much of his love into our lives. When we get this backwards--when we don't live with a deep sense of God's love--we will either practice a vain, superficial Christianity or a very guilty, heavy Christianity.
In my conversation with Sharon Garlough Brown, you'll get a glimpse of a woman compelled to serve God out of an abundance of love.
A few years ago several women in my spiritual direction cohort recommended Sharon's books to me as a good way to introduce folks to contemplative prayer and spiritual direction. A few even said they were training to become directors all because of what the Spirit stirred in them through Sensible Shoes. I quickly read the book and introduced it to Harderwyk where it has taken off.
For those of you who still feel outside contemplative spirituality--those who are scratching their heads wondering who Ignatius of Loyola is--this conversation should be helpful. Sharon and her fiction are very much in the Spirit of the Invitation Podcast extending the invitation into the deep love and life of God.
I welcome you into conversation #3 with Sharon Garlough Brown as we discuss Sharon's journey into spiritual direction, the story behind her Sensible Shoes books, Ignatian Spirituality, the missional church, Henri Nouwen, Richard Foster, Dallas Willard, the disciplines of silence, lectio divina, journaling, Scripture meditation, and Sabbath keeping. Sharon also recites a section of Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poem "Aurora Leigh."
Conversation #2 Brad Kilman no. 6
December 20, 2016
In early November I had a reunion with my long-time friend, Brad Kilman. Brad and I have been friends since we were 18, almost 25 years. We were interns together at Bridgeway Church in Oklahoma City in 1999. We wrote our first worship songs and recorded them with Charlie Hall for his Generation Productions during that time.
Over the years since I have had to discern my way through the conundrum of contemporary worship. There is enormous power in those instruments and musical voicings that can easily dethrone God with ego and self-worship. As I've struggled to trust leaders and songs, Brad has been a touchstone especially when he says things like:
"I only have my own affection and my own prayer. And if that is not true and honest before him, the I have nothing to give...."
It had been two years since we had been together, so there was much to talk about. The recurring theme of our discussion on and off the podcast mic was how to follow God. As the conversation progressed, we began to outline the similarities between leading worship and practicing spiritual direction.
Mostly it was just good to be with a spiritual friend.
A spiritual friend is a true gift of the Holy Spirit. A spiritual friend shows you God in ways that make you jealous for more of God. Deep calls unto deep. Brad's relationship with Jesus--the way he sings to God and loves God is contagious.
I welcome you into conversation #2 with Brad Kilman as we cover topics like song writing, mentoring worship leaders, the influence Charlie Hall and Don Chafer had on us, balancing life with ministry, serving a local church community, the ego, the enneagram, Taizé, and our first experiences in a recording studio.
www.bradkilman.com Also check out www.theversesproject.com to find more of Brad's music. The next interview will be with author, Sharon Garlough Brown in anticipation of a contemplative prayer retreat for church leaders she will be co-leading with Josh February 7-8. Then we will begin releasing a new five-minute retreat format that will correspond to Josh's prayer guide, "Forty Ways to Spend Five-Minutes With God." At the end of this episode you can hear a bit of a song based on Psalm 103 written by Brad and recorded in a cabin during their time in a cabin near Three Rivers, MI.
Conversation #1 Joseph Byrd OLF no. 5
November 1, 2016
In this episode, I sit down with my spiritual director, Joseph Byrd OLF, to conduct the very first interview of the Invitation Podcast! Joseph has helped me and many others, even so-called 'hardened prisoners,' experience God's loving presence. In this conversation with Joseph you can experience our shared joy and love for each other and God. Our deepest lessons are more 'caught than taught,' as God is a person to experience instead of a concept to explain. In this discussion with Joseph, my hope is that you will catch on to a new experience of God as I have over the past seven years.
Joseph says:
"Prayer is so much like music....What my sense of God has become is flow."
And goodness, does this conversation flow!
Join me for Conversation #1 with Joseph Byrd OLF as we cover topics like prayer, suffering, waking to God as if from a dream, music, prison outreach, CS Lewis, Dallas Willard, Teilhard de Chardin, St. Ignatius, St. Francis of Assisi, Isaac of Nineveh, Evelyn Underhill and more.
Retreat #3 - Revelation 3 no. 4
"I will come in to you to eat with you, and you with me."
September 18, 2016
We eat from many different tables even while the Spirit of Christ has invited us to eat from the abundance of his table. As CS Lewis has said, "It would seem that Our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us....We are far too easily pleased."
Yet, how do we sit down and participate in the greater pleasures of God? This retreat slowly and carefully guides you through Scripture, quotes from great authors (Fredrick Buechner, Origen, Theophan the Recluse), and questions for you to consider, all to help you become more familiar with God in prayer.
Join me for Retreat #3 as we meditate on Revelation 3 and consider the inner regions of our hearts.
Music:
“Save My Life” Josh Banner 1999
“Always Faithful” by Brad Kilman www.bradkilman.com
"Silence" Josh Banner and Susanna Childress 1999
Josh with Jared DeMeester (uke & upright bass)
Other sound design by Josh (rhodes w/ fx) & Josh Holicki (snare)
“Light of Jesus” Instrumental Josh Banner
Retreat #2 - Jeremiah 29 no. 3
June 29, 2016
"I will come in to you to eat with you, and you with me."
How do we sit down and participate in the greater pleasures of God? This retreat slowly and carefully guides you through Scripture, quotes from great authors (Fredrick Buechner, Origen, Theophan the Recluse), and questions for you to consider, all to help you become more familiar with God in prayer.
We are all so busy. Aren't we? We are impatient, too. We are, each of us, in our hearts, restless. But there is hope, even if there isn't an easy fix.
"God is in no hurry with you."
What if our restlessness is a sign of our hunger for God? What if it is, in fact, a gift? God is in no hurry with you. What if God is the most patient and gentle being in the entire universe? What if He is pleased with even your smallest efforts?
Join me for Retreat #2 as we meditate on Jeremiah 29 and explore exile, restlessness, and searching for our home in God. In prayer we discover that He is not so far off. He is closer to us than we are to ourselves!
Music:
“Save My Life” Josh Banner 1999
“Always Faithful” by Brad Kilman www.bradkilman.com
"Silence" Josh Banner and Susanna Childress 1999
Josh with Jared DeMeester (uke & upright bass)
Other sound design by Josh (rhodes w/ fx) & Josh Holicki (snare)
“Light of Jesus” Instrumental Josh Banner
Invitation Update, Thanks, A Word, and an Invite! no. 2
With all the lovely and encouraging feedback on episode, here is an update as we prepare episodes 2 and 3. Also, there is a brief description of the Invitation Summer Retreat 2016, "Developing a Conversational Relationship With God" that starts May 4. You are invited to participate!
Retreat #1 - Matthew 11 no. 1
This first episode is an introduction to spiritual formation and meditation on Matthew 11:28-30.
